"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Eleven




Port Charles is in an uproar. Garcia has an unending parade of suspects wandering through his office in an attempt to pin Lucy's disappearance on somebody. Problem is that by the time he's gone through the list, he'll be dead of old age.

Still, there are twenty or thirty serious suspects, and he's determined to make it through them this week, especially now that the case against Laura has been compromised. How it happened isn't entirely certain, but Dara and Justus reached some sort of deal, and the judge was in agreement.

Besides, Garcia remembered dimly, hadn't he let Laura out himself? And, Simone, besides. Garcia pauses, and decides he needs a vacation. Soon. So what if Lucy is missing?? If he waits until this case is over, he'll be dead and gone anyway.

That in mind, Garcia calls his travel agent and books a flight to Puerto Rico to see Uncle Hernando. Hmmmmmm

"I think I've found it," our undercover agent tells her superior as she stands in the shadows down on the docks. "But, you won't like this one bit."

Catacomb Creeper number three nods and tells her, "I suspected as much. This is out of character for her, and who should know it better than me??"

He turns to face the camera, and we see.......... Frisco???

He gives a wry smile and says, "Hell, Carly, why'd you think I left home? She was always so glad to see me when I got back..."

We are astonished. This is why Frisco really left??? And Carly??? An undercover agent??? Where is this storyline going, anyhow???

As the camera turns back to Carly, we see a knowing look on her face, and she adds, "Hey boss, I know why you left her." Carly pulls him into the shadows, and we are forced to discover that our hero not only has feet of clay, but his entire body seems in danger of crumbling!!!!!! Will we ever recover from this blow? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

And, back in the catacombs, Lucy is still screeching, running through the slimy corridors as fast as her high heels will carry her.

"Help!! Murder!! Police!! He's alive!!"

Suddenly she plows headlong into another form, something warm and familiar. She looks up, and a smile splits her face, and she screams, "Doc!! Oh, thank God you're here!! You found me!!! I knew you'd come and save me...Damian's alive and he's trying to kill me...Doc, why are you chuckling like that?? Uh, Doc, how did you know where to find me." She sniffs. "Doc, why do you smell so disgusting?? Hey, you haven't shaved in...you shaved this morning, so why do you have a beard?? Uh, Doc......Doc??......oh S***!!! HELP!! MURDER!! POLICE!! They're alive!!!!!!!!!" They??? Hmmmmmmmmmm

Stay tuned for further updates. Who is Uncle Hernando, and why is Garcia going to see him?? Will he take his slightly splintered billy club with him?? And, are we really shocked to find the truth about Frisco and Felicia?? What is going on between Carly and Frisco?? Do we really want to know?? And finally, have I given out enough clues as to the identity of catacomb creeper #2??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm