"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Sixteen

"So many men, so little time," muttered Lucy Coe as she painstakingly smooched her way through the butcher, the baker, the...you get the picture. Lest you forget, our dauntless heroine is busily kissing her way through Port Charles, making certain that no male whom Felicia might have kissed goes unrekissed. Or, something, she thinks.

At any rate, it's an excuse she can live with, though whether Kevin will believe it or not, she doesn't know. Still, she stops in at GH, where she kisses all available men ending with her honey who's less than impressed with her antics.

"Lucy, I thought we had a mutually exclusive thing going, and here you are kissing every other man around."

"Doc, we do, and I'll explain later, but you must understand that I'm saving the world from the spread of the African Aphrodisiac, and we can't risk a single life. Oh, and by the way, Damian and Ryan are still alive. Look, Doc, I'd love to stay and tell you all about it, but this is more important. Ta!!!"

Lucy's counterpart, Carly Roberts, is busily kissing her way through the seamier side of PC starting with Jason Morgan who's more than willing to be kissed. And, anything else she's got time for, but her mission foremost in her mind, Carly promises "Later, love," and heads off where she makes a detour by the Brownstone to lay a liplock on Tony Jones. "Mustn't leave anything to chance," she tells him, leaving him dazed and smiling.

Tony doesn't know what to make of this dynamic young woman, but if she wants to kiss him again, he's game. In fact, he's still wearing a vacuous expression when Bobbie comes home, passing Carly on her way out the door.

"Nice girl," Bobbie comments. " She looks vaguely familiar..." Bobbie pauses, then shrugs. Oh well. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Ryan's alive? I really didn't need to hear this," Mac grumbles, once again in control of himself. "What with having to figure out how Laura and Simone got out of jail, now you're telling me that your nutcase psychopath of a brother is still alive?"

"That's only half," Kevin assures Mac. "Lucy tells me that Damian's still alive and they're together."

"This is really great," Mac manages, barely in control of himself. "I thought when I took this job that it was going to be a piece of cake. The occasional murder, robbery once in a while, and a lot of PR work. But, no, now you're telling me that those guys are still wandering around?"

"Hey," Kevin tells him by way of consolation, "at least one of them doesn't have your face."

"Good point," Mac nods. "But the two of them? Together? Jeez!!!!"

And, at that particular moment, the two of them are comparing notes concerning the problems they were encountering. "I think I'm getting a rash from this make-up," Ryan mutters, as he scratches his face.

"Yeah, well at least you didn't get hit on by half of Port Charles last night." Damian shrugs, thoughtfully. "I guess it is true about blondes having more fun." He twirled the blonde wig around on his finger and suggested, "You know, Ryan, I just had an idea of how we could make some money." Ryan gives him a withering glance, but Damian continues. "Not like that. I was thinking that we could lure some rich guys out of the clubs, and then mug them in a dark alleyway. I mean, we are short of cash here lately. Not exactly original, but the cops will be looking for women, not us."

"I like the way you think," Ryan agrees. "And, if we kill them, then they can't tell the cops any different, even if they find out."

Damian nods. "Makes sense to me."

And so, a crime spree begins, murder and robbery, and the cops are looking for two tall, winsome women, one redhead and one blonde. "Good looking, if you like tall women," was the only comment given. "But there's something strange about them, something unique."

Only Kat Bell had anything derogatory to say about them. "No taste in clothes," she said. "And the worst hairdos I've seen in ages. Sort of reminds me of... No, that can't be. I just saw Mac and Kevin five minutes ago. Still..." Hmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!!! Will Lucy manage to kiss enough men? How many men did Felicia actually kiss, anyhow? Do we know? Does Lucy care?? Can Carly do her part? Will Kat supply the information to lead Mac and Kevin to Damian and Ryan? Are Giselle and Eva better looking than Norma and Eve??? Will Norma and Eve go under cover to end the crime spree??? And, what became of all the other storylines that I've left hanging in cyberspace???? Hmmmmmmmmmmm