"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Seventeen

"Tio Hernando" Garcia begins, graciously accepting his Uncle's offer of a ride back to Port Charles. "Allow me to thank you for your hospitality."

Hernando, now apprised of the situation in Port Charles, is less than cordial. "You think that you've handled things well??? It has come to my attention that you released Laura Spencer from prison, along with Simone Hardy, and there is a crime spree going on for which I will receive nothing. Lily has divorced Sonny and is having an affair with Harry, and Sonny is now, thanks to your bungling, free of my influence!!! You idiot!!!"

"But," Garcia begins again, only vaguely aware of his previous actions. "How did this happen? I don't remember doing any of that. In fact, I don't remember much of what happened just before I came here." He paused, thinking back. "I sort of remember Felicia Jones kissing me......Yes, it's coming back."

Garcia faces the camera-a look of wide eyed realization on his face. "She kissed me and I'd have done anything for her." He thinks harder, and says, "Tom Hardy had some African Aphrodisiac in his system before he died, and he'd been having a wild affair with her."

Rivera raises an eyebrow, his mind whirling at the possibilities. "Alejandro, you are almost a son to me. Find that substance for me and together, we'll rule the world."

Again, Garcia faces the camera, and we hear his thoughts. "Together? Who needs you??" Hmmmmmmmmmmm

"Now there's a woman who could help me achieve my ultimate goal," observes a man whom we identify as someone we once thought dead, but had already realized was going to turn up in this storyline sooner or later. Smoke rings wreathe his head, and he turns to stare directly into our eyes. GASP!!!

Cesare Faison gives one of his evil smiles, and chuckles. "Yes, Lucy Coe should be at my side. With her marketing genius, and my devastating brilliance, there is little we couldn't accomplish. True, she is aiding the enemy at the moment, but when I appeal to her innate greed, along with a small amount of coercion, she'll come around."

We are stunned to see our fine feathered friend, Sigmund the duck, tucked carefully under Faison's arm.

"And then, along with a small change in the formula, we market it as Persuasion." Faison laughs and realizes that this plan has the possibility of accomplishing, almost overnight, his goal. One sniff of the fragrance, and the person exposed becomes amenable to almost anything. A bit more fine tuning, and he could control them whenever he wanted. Sort of Pavlovian, he decided. No bells, just an exciting new fragrance. And, money, he smiles. Lots and lots of money. Hmmmmmmmmm

Meanwhile, back in Las Vegas, Harry has died a happy man, and Lily is ready to go back to Port Charles, a free woman. No more school teacher clothes, she's now one of the best dressed women in the world. And, she's returning with an ax to grind. Heads will roll, she decides. Sonny's first. As she gets onto the plane, Frisco and Brenda are disembarking.

"Wow," Brenda comments. "Think we'll have time to get in a few shows?"

"Later," Frisco tells her. "First things first. We split up here and do all the hotels on the strip."

"Hey, isn't that them?" Brenda asks, pointing out the duo. Jax is still dazed, but following Felicia like a lovesick puppy, and Felicia has an almost manic gleam in her eyes. Frisco is shocked. Felicia looks like a woman who has spent the last few days...Nevermind, this is a daytime program.

"Put on a double dose of the AA Lipgloss SPF15," he orders tersely as he does the same. "Okay, you do him, and I'll take Felicia."

Acting in concert, Brenda leaps at Jax who goes down as if exhausted. She plants one on his lips, and then, for good measure, one more.

Frisco pulls Felicia into his arms and does a Rhett Butler style kiss, leaning her back and kissing her as if the world depended on it. Which it did.

Seconds later, our two former lovers are looking around themselves.

"What are we doing here?"

As memory filtered back into their stunned minds, Felicia turns beet red in horror. "My Gosh!!!!!"

Jax, a man on whom the full effect of the substance had been exerted, can barely stand. "Brender! Thank God!!"

Frisco, now in command of the African Aphrodisiac, looks at the stuff. "Who'd have thought this could be so dangerous? Okay, Felicia, did you kiss anybody else here?"

"No," she admits, taking off the huge diamond ring Jax had given her. She hands it to Brenda. "I think this is yours. Him, too. Sorry."

"Uh, no problem," Brenda says, magnanimously. "By the way, did you guys get married?"

"No," Jax answers. "This is the first time we've been out of our room since we got here."

Frisco shakes his head, and with Felicia firmly in hand, says, "Okay, Brenda, keep an eye on him. Bed rest appears to be in order. I'm taking Felicia back to PC. Thanks for all your help."

Felicia, still embarrassed, goes along quietly. "We've got to go back and see if Lucy and Carly have managed to rescue the rest of the city. Good thing we had an antidote."

Scene switches to Faison. "And now to launch phase two of my plan. Just when they think things are safe again......" Hmmmmmmmmmm

Hang in there readers!!! Will Lucy fall victim to her own greed and lust for power? Does Faison really possess the key to her heart?? How far will she go to save Siggy?? Can Kevin persuade her that this isn't in her best interests?? Will our formerly dead guys now in drag meet up with their law abiding counterparts?? How many more formerly dead guys and gals can I dredge up anyhow??? What plans does Lily have for Port Charles?? What if Lily and Faison meet up?? What if Faison falls for Lucy?? Should this go on????? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm