"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Nineteen

"He'll rue the day he messed with me," Lucy Coe muttered through clenched teeth, pausing briefly to note, "RUE! I like that. A new fragrance name. Yes, I'll make that ducknapping swine, jeez, that sounds weird. A ducknapping pig-anyway, he'll pay!!! But, first I have to save Siggy. Oh, I hope my darling ducky isn't too scared. I wonder if that miserable person has frightened him? Siggy, Mama's coming. Hang on!!!"
With that, our heroine is out the door, dressed to the teeth in the slinkiest dress she has. If she can't make the ducknapper see the light one way, she'll try something else. Anything else. After all, Siggy is her......child? Hmmmm

Meanwhile, down in a previously uncharted and unmentioned part of the catacombs, our aforementioned ducknapper is reclining in luxury. Indeed, if the camera hadn't scanned the entry which is a moldering, dank, dreary and disgusting doorway, we would believe that this is the private home of a very wealthy individual. Nevermind that there are no windows, and that the neighborhood is a trifle lacking, this place is really uptown inside. Oriental carpets, wood paneling, antique furniture, and state of the art computers are in evidence. A library adorns one wall, and on another, in a place of honor, is a life sized picture of Anna Devane Scorpio.

A shudder shakes us as we realize that Faison is still as in love with Anna as ever, and as determined to make her his. Will he succeed this time? Our villain enters the room, and we hear him.

"And so, my fine feathered friend, will your owner come to rescue from my clutches?"

"Quack!" responds Siggy, with an indignant wiggle of his tail.

"You think so? She is brave and determined. Loyal, if she'd come here for pâté walking..I mean, waddling."


"Rest easy," Faison comforts the duck. "I still need you, so you're safe for now. But, quit doing nasty things to my carpet."

Faison strokes the duck's feathers, and the camera goes to a closeup of the duck who looks very worried. Will Lucy be able to save him? Hmmmmmmm

"So that's it, Robert," Frisco reports. "The antidote works, but there is the possibility that anyone untreated might commit suicide. Tom did die, but we aren't sure just why. It might be related to the African Aphrodisiac."

Anna nods thoughtfully. "It might have reacted with his individual body chemistry to cause that. I could tell you horror stories of the things Faison has concocted." She shudders.

Robert speaks. "So, Frisco, now that Lucy and Carly have taken care of Port Chuck's male population, all we have to worry about is whether or not Faison had another vector to take it to the female population. Tom is out of the picture, thank heavens, but until we take out Faison, we have to worry about that."

"So far," Frisco tells him, "Tom seems to have been the only male with the stuff. I hate to think how bad things could get if he managed to find a means of delivery that would have a broad scope. If this stuff was airborne, or delivered in mass, we'd have an incredible problem on our hands."

Robert and Anna nod in agreement. "That's what we're trying to prevent. Just think what an atomizer of this would do" Anna said, envisioning the stuff delivered like a fragrance. Our ears perk up. Our eyes widen. Fragrance? Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!!! Has our diabolically clever arch villain found a means of distribution that will allow him to control the world starting in Port Charles?? Will Lucy be the willing or unwilling cohort in this fiendish plan?? What will she do to save Siggy from being stuffed with bread crumbs and baked?? Is she up to the challenge?? Lucy, one on one with Faison?? Yes, it boggles the mind, but there it is!!!! Is Lucy Coe our best hope to stop this madman?????? Hmmmmmmmmmm