"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Twenty-Six

NOTICE TO READERS: The crisis in Port Charles is growing, and in response, some readers, regular chatters known to us all on the chatline, have expressed an interest in getting more involved in the tale. Some wish to get more involved with certain characters. Hmmmmmmm Oh, well, whatever works!! As I was saying, those wishing to get involved have made their wishes known and are therefore getting in on the act. Today's guest star is Meesh, from Charlotte, North Carolina.

"Look, buddy," says Meesh, a newcomer to the staff of General Hospital. She stands, arms akimbo, and glares, her brown eyes boring into the patient's passion glazed face. "I don't care if you've been drinking love potion number nine, you're still a flop with chicks!! Get over yourself!!" The petite blonde-haired nurse turns to Dr. Alan Quartermaine, and asks, "How many more of them are there today?"

"So far, fifteen, but it's only 10 a.m.. Do you think you can handle this ward alone??"

"No sweat," Meesh answers, looking down at her clipboard. "Any news on the antidote??"

"No, Tony is working as fast as he can, but what these guys are using is a little different than what came in earlier with the body of Tom Hardy."

Meesh shrugs and continues, "Between these guys, the increase in volume of the usual sort of street crime and our usual patient load, we're all pulling double shifts. How long do you think this will go on?"

Alan shrugs in return. "No idea. Good grief, Meesh, the whole city is in an uproar. Would you believe that this guy was dropped off here by a masked man and a masked kid?? I can't believe this. Do you?" Hmmmmmmmmm

Back on Spoon Island, an insistent throb breaks the silence as a helicopter settles down on a landing pad. To our surprise, out step two people we all know and love. "Hey, old buddy," greets Sean as he gives Robert a bear hug. "I was wondering when you'd come out of hiding."

"Anna," squeals Tiffany, running to hug one of her very best friends.

"Anna, you won't believe what we've been doing!!" She scowls suddenly, and says, "Sean told me that Faison, that nasty character-I thought we were finished with him, but then, I thought the same of you-I'll never forgive Sean for letting me think that you were dead-oh, I'm so glad that you're alive and well, and I'm so sorry about Robin. I understand how you must feel-oh, Anna, I've brought pictures of our new babies-twins. They run in the family, but I didn't want to tell Sean at first." She pauses, and Anna takes a deep breath and burst out laughing.

"Oh, Tiff, I've missed you so much!"

The four continue the conversation back in the mansion where Tiff sees a familiar face. "Tom Hardy?? According to the AP reports, you're dead!"

Tom grins, and for the first time in ages, we are actually glad to see him. "That is a long story," he tells her. "You want the exclusive??"

"You know I do," Tiff tells him.

"The other guy was a ringer put in by the DVX," Robert tells Tiff. "You may not be able to tell everything, but we'll give you a story to print. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Tiff nods glumly, "National security?"

"World security," Robert says. "A matter of life and death." Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Oh Siggy, my beloved," Lucy gushes as she picks up her feathered pet who is quacking insistently at Faison. "Don't worry sweetums. I'll take care of you." Out of the side of her eye, Lucy is aware that Faison is watching her carefully. "I love you..." She kisses the duck, and then turns back to her host. "You can't have him. He's mine."

With that, Faison says. "Very well, Miss Coe. You can have the duck, but you must agree to merchandise my product." He extends a bottle to her, a small bottle of the finest lead crystal which held a shimmering liquid that seemed almost iridescent. "I want it in all your outlets, and it must be done immediately. I'll have it delivered, but you must agree to merchandise it exactly as I instruct you. And, I'll also furnish demonstrators. Fill the air of Port Charles with this, Miss Coe, and the city will be ours."

"Port Charles is already mine," Lucy counters. "I want a contract, Mr. Whatever your name is. I want everything in black and white. Signed on the dotted line."

"Very well, Miss Coe. Cesar Faison at your service, and the documents are already prepared."

Lucy scans the papers, fully aware of her predicament. "You want 75 percent? Dream on. This is my company. 50/50. You supply the merchandise, and I'll see that it gets the best marketing you've ever seen."

"Deal." Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!! Has Lucy just made a deal with the devil?? Has Port Charles lost its best and maybe only hope?? Will Meesh be able to handle an entire ward of love crazed men?? Is she actually looking forward to it?? How is it that Alan didn't even recognize his own son?? Tom Hardy is back?? Will Sean and Tiffany be able to assist Robert and Anna in saving Port Charles?? Are we buying any of this??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm