"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Twenty-Nine

NOTICE TO READERS: As the streets of Port Charles become more congested with crime, my heart swells with pride to see brave chatters step forth and volunteer to shoulder the load in the fight for justice. Today's guest stars are Chris from Memphis, Tennessee, and Joyce, from Ukiah, California.

"Who was that Masked Man???"

On screen, as nearly the entire viewing public of Port Charles waits for the answer, Port Charles newest newscasters/talk show hostesses, whom we recognize as the redoubtable team of Chris and Joyce, bring the latest information to us. Let's listen in:

"Chris, all of Port Charles is buzzing with the most astonishing thing to happen in years."

"Yes, Joyce. While Port Charles is suffering in the grip of the worst crime spree in recorded history, a hero has risen from among us, someone who has chosen not to reveal his name, or that of his associate."

"Joyce, dashing to rescue a woman who was being attacked by a drive-by kisser, this masked man and his motorcycle riding buddy managed to save the damsel in distress while averting a holdup at the First Bank of Port Charles and helping an old lady cross the street."

Both newscasters sigh deeply as the dark-brown haired Chris reaches to a drawer beside her. Joyce does the same, brushing her long, brown hair aside. Taking a length of silk, Chris swiftly ties what we now see is a mask over her sparkling green eyes as Joyce's hazel eyes are now revealed behind a mask of her own.

"Masked Man," Chris begins, "We're ready to help in ANY way we can. Any Time!"

"Any place," Joyce agrees, fervently, Too fervently. Any suggestions?? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Man, what a rush!" laughs Sonny as he doffs his mask in the penthouse while Jason turns on the television. "If I'd have known years ago that crime fighting could be so much fun, I'd have done this earlier!"

They listen to the broadcast, and Jason turns to Sonny. "Hey, we're famous!! Think we should do interviews?"

Sonny briefly considers the thought. "Not yet, kid. We need to be mysterious. That's sexy, you know. Besides, until we have this African Aphrodisiac out of the way, we haven't done our jobs." Suddenly, the phone rings, and Sonny answers. "What??? You're kidding. You're not?? Hmmmmm. Okay, I'll get somebody right on it."

Picking up his mask, Sonny says, "Come on Kid. We have a job to do. There's something going on at Jake's. Something really strange." Hmmmmmmmmm

Meanwhile, back on Spoon Island, Anna is looking at pictures of the Donely twins. "Colin and Colleen? How perfect! Oh, Tiff, I do envy you. Robert and I... well... I'd love to tell...can you keep a secret Tiff??" She reaches into a drawer of the desk, and pulls out a packet of pictures, handing them to Tiffany whose eyes light up with happiness.

"Anna??? They're darling?? What are their names?"

"Malcolm Robert, who is 2 and Hollyanna, aged 6 months. Don't act surprised. Holly and I have become best friends, and you know, she can't have babies. She's our children's godmother. Of course, we could use another..."

"You've got one," Tiff promises. "Anna, this is wonderful!!!"

They hug, while in another room, Robert makes a similar announcement, and in the time honored macho thing to do, Robert offers Sean a cigar and they celebrate while Tom Hardy joins them, Siggy on his lap. Hmmmmmm

Stay tuned! Who called the Masked Man and his sidekick to Jake's? Will they arrive in time to catch Eva de Struxion and Giselle du Bois, aka Damian and Ryan? Who did Carly alert? Who is baby-sitting the newest arrivals of the Scorpio family??? Will this storyline never end?? How long can I juggle all these storylines without falling flat on my face??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm