"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Thirty

NOTICE TO READERS: The crime wave continues unabated in Port Charles. Despite the efforts of the Port Charles Police Department, the legally challenged flock to our beleaguered city determined to make their fortunes via the African Aphrodisiac, and those whose encounters with the stuff have already created havoc here litter the streets and the occasional seedy bar. Fortunately, today again, another chatter has answered the call and volunteered her services. Today's guest star is Kristina, of Buffalo, New York. Her costar is the already well-known Gil, from Fairfax, Virginia. Gil is reprising his role as Gil, of the PCPD.

"Gil," Carly said, more than pleased to see her new friend from the PCPD, "Glad you could make it. There are two guys in there dressed as women, and there's some-thing very familiar about them. I thought you should check this out, what with the odd women killing male patrons of various bars."

"Good thinking," Gil says wishing that she'd called him for something else. Oh, well... "Okay, let me go in."

The two enter, just as a beer bottle goes flying past the bar. To their surprise, the two strange "women" were duking it out with various men, fighting as dirty as any people he'd ever seen.

"Stand back," Gil orders, but just as he's about to draw his gun, another patron decks him with a chair. Gil drops like a rock, and Carly steps in front of him, just in time to field another airborne bottle.

Suddenly, into the bar dash three people: The legendary Masked Man and The Kid, along with a previously unseen woman. Good Grief!! It's Kristina!! Seeing her longtime friend Gil down, she races to his side, and quickly pulls him behind the bar just as a table crashes into the floor where he'd been.

"Gil," she says, worry clouding her brown eyes. "Gil?"

Groggily, Gil opens his gray eyes, and sees Kristina, her stylish brown hair framing her lovely face. Gil feels through his closely cropped brown hair, gingerly touching what promises to be a goose-egg sized bump and smiles. "Kristina! What are you doing here?"

"Thank heavens I made it in time" she responds, relief apparent, and we wonder what she meant by this cryptic statement. "What's going on??"

Indeed, we ask. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

At that same moment, only a few feet away, Sonny and Jason are encountering the fight of their lives. Punches are flying, chairs splintering, beer bottles bonking heads, and in the middle of this, to Sonny's amazement, is a young blond woman, busily taking down the unruly patrons at an astonishing rate. Effortlessly, she uses an assortment of martial arts skills to mow them down, while Sonny leans back against the bar.

Jason is flabbergasted! Is this the young woman with whom he's been fooling around?? He breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't broken both of his legs when he was less than cordial with her. Finally, the room is cleared, and Carly is the only fighter left standing. She smiles.

"Hi guys!" she greets Sonny and Jason. "I think we've got this place under control."

"Nice work," Sonny tells her, approval radiating from his smile.

Their eyes meet, and Carly senses male interest. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Meanwhile, Eva and Giselle, aka Damian and Ryan, are limping down the back alley, grumbling and cursing one another. "You had to do it, didn't you," Ryan mutters. "You just had to take a swing at him."

"He pinched me," Damian told him. "That lecherous SOB pinched my a**."

"We could have been discreet about it, but no, you have to go and punch his lights out."

"How was I to know that his buddy would come to the rescue? Mine didn't. No, you have to sit there like a scared rabbit."

"Scared rabbit? Thanks to you, we'll have to be living like scared rabbits again, down in that hole under the city. I'll bet our descriptions are all over Port Charles right now." Ryan curses Damian roundly, and the mobster's son comments.

"You know, I've never heard those words strung together quite as neatly as that before."

"No?" asks Ryan, flattered. "I always did have a way with words."

"You really do," Damian tells him. "In fact, conversations with you are always interesting."

Seconds later, the two are fast friends again, and they limp back down to the catacombs, bemoaning the loss of their wardrobes. "You know, I was really getting to like the feel of silks and satins," Damian observes.

"Me, too," Ryan admits. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!! Has Carly caught the eye and the interest of Sonny?? What about Jason?? He knows who she is, but does she know who he is?? Behind the mask, I mean?? And, if she knows, does he know that she knows??? And...you know. Will Kristina insist that Gil get his head x-rayed?? Is there something going on there?? How did she know that Gil needed rescuing, anyhow?? What about Eva and Giselle?? Have we seen the last of the formerly dead guys in drag?? Is this male bonding thing going to become a lifelong friendship?? How long a life??? Hmmmmmmmmmm