"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Four

Things have certainly taken a turn for the more interesting around the Jones household these days. Once unable to light even Bobbie's eternal flame, Tony is now enjoying more than his share of female company. Felicia is over, ostensibly being comforted on her loss of the late Tom Hardy, whose apparent murder by his ex-wife is being broadcast across the city. The newscasters seem to take great pleasure in revealing revealing pictures of the deceased doctor.

Oh yeah, Tony is also being pursued by the ever tight-sweatered Carly who even offered to sing backup if he wants to do karaoke night down at the country western club across from Luke's. Carly smiles demurely at him and says that she looks great in fringe!!! Bobbie smiles indulgently, as ever unaware that her husband is being chased by other women, her mind as usual, only on herself. Carly and Felicia each eye the competition. Hmmmmmmmmm

Mac, by now, has been called in on the newest murder case, and Simone is in custody bemoaning her fate. Justus arrives telling her not to worry, that he can prove that Tom jumped all by himself, that he, Justus, considered it himself, that it isn't unusual for a man who has been rejected by her.

"But I was with a three month old patient at the time," Simone insists, "I couldn't have done it!!"

Dara, who has arrived by now asks,

"Can this patient testify on your behalf??"

Simone looks from Justus to Dara and realizes that she rejected Justus once too often. She doesn't realize that both of them are contemplating the upcoming weekend together.

Things look grim. Mac tells Simone that he has faith in the system, then goes to join Kat for another catered lunch. Duck in cranberry sauce. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Once more, Luke has caught Edward skulking around on the docks, and by now, he realizes that Edward is hiding something, maybe protecting someone. He drags the older man to a vacant storage building and demands the truth.

We see a glimmer of deceit in Edward's eyes, and then he blurts out,

"It was Lila! Please, Luke, help me protect her!!! She was sleep-wheeling the night Damian was killed. I found soot on her gown, and Harper had a film of her leaving the scene of the crime!"

Thunderstruck, Luke is speechless. That sweet little old lady did in Damian?? Shaken to his very soul, Luke nods, agreeing to help. He couldn't turn in Lila, not even for Laura. He accepts Edward's offer of another uptown lawyer, and they plot to get Laura off. Later, we see Edward chuckle to himself as he leaves a shaken Luke alone.

And, finally, down in the catacombs, hunger has finally driven one of our disgusting creatures to the surface, in search of food and revenge, and not necessarily in that order. Eyes glinting in determination, our villain, steeped in evil as well as all sorts of nasty things from the catacombs, gingerly pushes open the door that will lead to the outside world, food and......... Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Tune in later to find out if Tony survived the battle of the blondes. Does Bobbie ever realize that she's about to be ousted?? Will she lose everything, kids, husband, money, to a younger woman?? Will Simone be able to get her three month old patient to testify on her behalf?? Will Justus and Dara completely compromise themselves in Harry's hideaway?? Does Lila have any idea what Edward told Luke about her?? Would she even care?? And, what of Laura, who lies languishing in the lockup?? Stay tuned as the catacomb killers emerge to ............... what?????????? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.