"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Forty-Eight

Looking around the room, at least as far as he could manage, being tied up in a chair, an uncomfortable chair at that, Ryan was busy taking stock of his surroundings. This was a fairly plush place, and aside from his current predicament, not at all unpleasant. He was especially fond of the painting on the wall that he'd identified as the late Anna Devane Scorpio. "She was very beautiful," Ryan commented as his captor entered the room.

"She still is," Faison remarked. "And she will be mine. It is our destiny to be together."

"Aha," Ryan remarks, hearing the undisguised longing in the other man's voice. "I should have known it all along. You've got woman troubles. Welcome aboard, pal."

"You, too?" asked Faison, strangely moved by a fellow sufferer.

"Yeah," Ryan nods. "But mine is a gorgeous blonde. Women!! You can't live with them, and you can't live without them. You give them everything you have to give, knock yourself out to be what they say that they want, and then they fall for some other guy, some hero, good sort, the kind that make you sick. Go figure!"

"You understand," Faison nods, appreciatively . "I'd have given her the world, even have accepted her child by the other man."

"Me, too," Ryan tells him. "I thought I was being as noble as hell!"

"Yes, but she has a slight problem with my past," Faison tells him, now, sitting across the room from Ryan. "Let's just say that I have lived a full, colorful life."

"Me, too." Suddenly seized with the urge to be honest, Ryan confides. "Hey, I've even killed a couple of women along the way-they deserved it, you understand, but for some reason, Felicia just can't deal with that."

"That's all?" Faison asks. "Anna thinks I am mad."

"Well, I have spent some time locked up, labeled a little off, but it's all her fault."

"No kidding? I have never been locked up in a mental institution. You must tell me all about it. But, yes, the love of my life thinks that I am insane, and a megalomaniac, out to conquer the world." He shrugs. "I'm not insane, and there is nothing wrong with high ambitions."

"You're right," Ryan tells him, feeling more and more a kinship with the man. "Somebody's gotta do it. Heck, history looks up to the conquerors, like Alexander the Great."

"You understand!" exclaims Faison, delighted with his discovery."But, you mention Felicia, not Miss Coe."

"Uh, I can explain," Ryan tells him. Hmmmmmmmm

Lucy greets Luke and Kevin at the door to her apartment. "Oh, thank goodness you're here! There's a dead guy, that is a formerly dead guy who may really be a dead guy by now in my bed, and Doc!! You're here!! But, if you're here, how can you be there?? And, all tied up?? Is this some kind of a sick joke?" She jams the picture in his face.

Kevin remarks, "No, but that tie is. What's going on, Lucy?"

"What's going on??" she demands, now in high dudgeon. "I'll tell you what's going on. Somebody has kidnapped you, that is kidnapped, oh good heavens, that must be Ryan!! Ha!!! That serves both of them right. That nasty man has kidnapped your equally nasty brother. Well, let's forget that. They deserve each other. Sorry, Doc, but facts are facts."

Luke, returning from the bedroom, tells Lucy, "Uh, Lucy, darlin, there's nobody there."

"What?" she shrieks. "Damian was there, dead, but then he was talking to me, and I knew that he wasn't dead, and he said that Kat had done it to him, and while I don't mind that she did it, to him, with him, or whatever, I'd rather she did it elsewhere, and didn't clutter up my place with dead bodies!"

Doc, still staring at the picture of his brother, was silent.

Luke asked, "Miss Lucy, it would seem that Damian wasn't all that sick, or dead, if he managed to sneak off quietly while you were in here."

"That does it. Luke, you said that you had friends in low places who might be able to help me, but now, it doesn't seem that I need any help. Doc is okay, Damian is gone, and Ryan is finally getting his just desserts."

"One question," Luke injects. "If Damian isn't here, where is he??" Hmmmmmmmmmm

"Home,(Hic) sweet home," Kat sings, off tune, as she struggles with the key to her door. "Ding dong, Damian's dead, in the witch's bed!"

Kat giggles, and then, kicks off her high heeled shoes, staggering over to the liquor cabinet where she mixes another, sloshing the liquid all over the place. "Mac'll be back, Lucy'll be sacked, and I'll have it all!"

She lifts the drink high, toasting her future. "To me, to money, and to making more and more!" (hic!) She swigs it down in one gulp, and then grimaces as she crunches the olives. "Nasty! Must have gone bad. Wonder if they can?? Well, they did, and I'm rich enough to buy more! More! More than the greatest love...(hic!) she sings, her voice enough to shatter glass, but she whirls around, suddenly coming to sit rather abruptly on the floor. "I think I'm a little drunk," she laughs, and then adds, "but I have every reason to celebrate. All in one fell swoop, I've gotten rid of my problems. By this time, Damian should be dead, and by the morning, Lucy will be in custody for murder!" (hic!)

"Not so fast, Kat, my love," comes a horribly familiar voice from the doorway. "Oh, I'll be dead, no doubt about that, but you will be, too."

Damian crawls into the room, his face ashen, and his every move an effort. "You are so predictable, Kat. Celebrating your win before it's done. The liquor was poisoned, and so were the olives. Too late, darling. Nobody can save your pretty hide now, and to add insult to injury, you're going to die in my arms. You'll die first, and then I'll follow. And, I've rewritten my will. Lucy gets it all." Hmmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!!!! Will Ryan and Faison come to a meeting of the minds, or will the demonic Dane do Ryan in??? Will Kevin do the true and noble thing and attempt to rescue his twin from the aforementioned villain?? Will Luke help, hoping that the rescue will end in Faison's capture?? Will Damian and Kat finally die in each other's arms?? Will I ever manage to tie up all the loose ends???? Hmmmmmm