"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Fifty-One

NOTE TO READERS: Chatters from all over have requested to join the cast, to fight the forces of evil and all around nastiness, some reaching far beyond themselves to try something new and different. Today's guest star, Roxolana, from Toronto, Ontario, is one such brave soul.

"What do you mean they aren't here?" demands Mac of Dr. Alan Quartermaine as he stands in the waiting area of General Hospital.

Felicia is standing beside him, concern for Mac on her face. "Amy said that both Damian Smith and Katherine Bell were brought in here a little while ago, and that they had been poisoned. Are they.....?"

"No," Alan assured Mac. "But, I'll admit that this whole thing is a little strange. Legal, yes, but strange. I'm so sorry Mac, but there was nothing that we could do to save either of them, and death was imminent, when someone came in with legal documents that allowed him to remove both Damian and Katherine and take them, putting them in cryogenic storage."

(Yes, readers, this is one of many plot devices which allow the writers to remove someone from the scene without completely killing them off. Not that killing them off ever stopped a soap writer from returning a character, but, I digress....)

Alan continues, "Yes, a man named Cassidine showed up with the appropriate documents, and we had to release them. I'm sorry, Mac, but we had no choice..." Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Give Daddy a kiss," Tracy tells Dylan as the little boy runs over and throws his arms around Jeremiah Jacks, twin brother of Jax's father, and thereby uncle of Jax. Tracy smiles at Jeremiah, laughing as she walks over to him. "Darling, you should have seen my father when I told him that I was back to stay."

Jeremiah grins at his wife, and asks, "Tracy, my love, when are you going to tell him that I'm actually the boy's father, and not that whining wimp Paul Hornsby?"

"Not until we have complete control of ELQ, sweetheart!" She smiles, and for the first time, we see real joy and tenderness in her eyes. "Jeremiah, I don't know what I'd have done if I'd never have met you. So many men are intimidated by strong women, but not you. You want me to be an equal partner, and a cofounder of the Jax dynasty."

"My love," Jeremiah tells her, "it takes a strong woman to stand up to a strong man. I'd walk all over a lesser woman, but you, Tracy, you give as good as you get!!"

His eyes twinkle, and we realize that he means this on a variety of levels. Both grin, and we see a true love, something that will stand the test of time, the winds of war, and all like that. Tracy Quartermaine Jacks pulls her husband down to her meet her lips, and the tall, blond man sweeps her up into his embrace and carries her off as Dylan's nanny takes the child. Hmmmmmmmmmm

"I feel like a complete idiot in this monkey suit," Robert complains to Anna as the two of them take their seats at the Port Charles Opera Theatre where this evening, the world famous ballerina, whom to our surprise we recognize as Roxolana, is performing.

"It doesn't matter how we feel, as long as nobody recognizes us and we get the information that Roxolana has to pass along."

"I know, but we both look like complete fools in red wigs and glasses, and you look especially frumpy in that hideous pinkish gown."

"It's called fuchsia, darling, and of course I do," Anna answers. "But the idea is to make people see the ghastly gown, not my face."

As the curtains open, Robert comments, "Darling, nobody is going to take a second look at either of us. Look at Roxolana!! She's beautiful! I wonder how long her blond hair is? Can't tell with it up like that. She has blue eyes, and .."

Anna takes the binoculars from him, and says, "I'll do the looking, sweetheart. I'm the one who reads the coded dance movements. You just sit there and make sure that we're not being observed."

Roxolana, aware that she's being watched by one and all, including the Scorpios, turns in an excellent performance. As she makes her bows to the audience, she hopes that they have gotten the message, loud and clear. Hmmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!!! What is a Cassidine doing in this adventure, or does the word "cryogenic" explain it all??? What is this about Tracy being married to a Jacks?? Are we stunned, or did we always know that she couldn't be drawn to a whining weak wimp like Paul Hornsby?? And, did Robert and Anna escape detection at the Port Charles Theatre?? Hmmmmmmm