"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Fifty-Four

NOTE TO READERS: As the adventure heats up, and the weather deteriorates, things are getting downright dicey in the catacombs and Port Charles. But, ever up to the challenge are Adam, of Manchester, Massachusetts and Oz, of Wichita, Kansas.

"Sonny," begins Jason who has demonstrated that he has the good sense to come in out of the rain. "I was just outside over by the docks, when I saw Lily meeting Garcia. I listened in, and she's planning a surprise for us!" He smiles happily.

Sonny asks. "What kind of a surprise, kid?"

"A vacation cruise," Jason answers. "I guess she must feel bad about how she dumped you but that Garcia dude she was kissing, I don't think he likes you so much. He wants to get rid of you permanently, but Lily she just said to bring both of us to her father's yacht tomorrow, and we get to take a permanent vacation."

Jason smiles at the thought of cruising around the world, but Sonny scowls. "Kid, I don't think you understand. A "permanent vacation" in this sense means that she's planning to kill us. She's using a euphemism that's a polite way of saying something nasty sort of like calling the dead the "dearly departed". Still, that's good to know. What else did you hear?"

"Something about Garcia and his men going down into the catacombs tonight looking for the African Aphrodisiac down there."

Sonny grins. "Good work, Kid! I knew that Garcia was a jerk, and I wondered what had become of him. So, he's with Lily and something is going in the catacombs. That means that we go down there, too."

Sonny goes over to his computer and sends an e-mail to his new employer. "Gotta keep the boss lady apprised of our situation in case we need backup or don't come back."

Jason brightens up. "Got it! "Don't come back" really means that we might get killed! It's one of those euphemism things."

"Right, kid," Sonny nods. "Remind me to call a spade a spade when you're around."

"Do you mean a spade as in a shovel-type device, or a spade as in a card suit?"

"Just get your mask and gun," Sonny tells Jason with a sigh of resignation. "We're going down into the catacombs tonight." They leave as thunder crashes all around. Hmmmmmmm

Unable to locate Mac, Robin heads to Luke's house where she encounters Lucky who is baby-sitting Lulu. "Hey Robin," Lucky greets. "What's up?"

"Down is more like it," she tells him. "I need to get hold of your dad right away."

Lucky shakes his head. "Can't help you, Robin. I don't know where he is."

Noting Robin's anxiety, he asks, "You need help?" Like his father, Lucky is unable to resist a damsel in distress, especially when that damsel is a friend.

"Lucky, something is going down tonight, and I just found out about a hit on Sonny."

"A hit? By who?"

"Whom," Robin corrects. "By Lily and Garcia."

"Garcia? That jerk? Man, I've had it in for him ever since he arrested my mom. Okay, deal me in."

Minutes later, after leaving a note for Laura, Lucky, Lulu and Robin are at the baby-sitter's house. "Oz?" Lucky asks, as Oz, whom we recognize from the chatline, opens the door. "We have a problem and Mom said that if something came up, we could leave Lulu with you."

"Of course, Lucky," she says, her blue eyes twinkling. "Come on in." Lulu, very fond of Oz, raises her little arms and goes happily to her, grabbing her brown hair with tiny fingers. Laughing, and untangling her hair from Lulu's grasp, Oz asks, "Is something wrong?"

"Uh, nothing much," Lucky tells her. "We've just got a friend with a problem."

"I understand. Okay, I'll take care of Lulu, and you take care of business." She smiles as Robin and Lucky leave.

"Lucky," Robin asks, "What do you know about the catacombs?"

"Know?" Lucky tells her. "Heck, my friend, Adam, and I wrote the book on catacomb exploration. Come on. He'll be more than willing to help out."

As predicted, Adam, another regular chatter from PCO, is indeed ready to assist. "Go down in the catacombs? You had to ask??? Of course, I'll go. Let me get my flashlight."

As the brown-haired, blue-eyed 15-year-old heads off in search of his exploration equipment, Lucky remarks to Robin, "See, Adam and I, along with a few other guys, used to play flashlight tag in the catacombs. We know where everything is, and where to hide if anybody is after us. The way I see it is, we go down, get the goods on Garcia and then tell your Uncle Mac when we see him."

"I agree," Robin says. "We can't call PCPD now, because we don't know if Garcia still has men in there working for him."

Adam reappears, ready for action. "Let's go, guys. You can fill me in on the details on the way."

The trio heads out into the night, oblivious to the rain that has begun to fall. Hmmmmmm

Lucy, busily dressing herself in what she considers catacomb-crawling-chic, stands regarding herself in the mirror while outside the rain increases in intensity, punctuated by crashes of thunder and flashes of lightning. Clad in form-fitting black stretch pants, a black turtleneck sweater, a black windbreaker with lots of pockets, and black running shoes, she nods. "Now, I need a flashlight, extra batteries, a cellular phone and these lovely black scarves."

"Black scarves?" asked Kevin, also dressed in black. A novice at catacomb creeping, he has followed her lead.

"Of course, Doc Darling. We may have to tie somebody up with these, and I don't have any ropes, at least none that I'd take down into the catacombs with me."

"Yeah, well, I'm taking duct tape. That's all purpose stuff, you know."

"Good idea. Do you have a gun?"

"A gun?"

"Yeah, a gun."

"No, do you?"

"Of course not. We could go buy one."

"Wait a minute!" Lucy says. "There is a prop gun down at my office we were using it for the Smoking Gun ads."

"Lucy, what good is a prop gun?"

"It's for effect, Doc. As long as somebody thinks that we're going to shoot them."

"Sorry, Lucy, if I'm going to take a gun, I want it to be functional."

"Okay, I've got it!! We go to Luke and ask him for a gun. I'm sure he has a spare. Wait!!! I've got a better idea!!! I call The Masked Man!! And The Kid, of course. This would be great!! Hot Damn!! We kill two birds with one stone!! Make that three!! We take care of Faison, Ryan, and The Masked Man gets publicity which will boost sales! Yes!!"

With a gleam in her eyes, Lucy picks up the phone, and enters the cellular number that The Masked Man had given her, as Kevin watches in awe of the intricacies of her mind. "Uh, Masked Man?"

Sonny answers, "Yeah?"

"This is Lucy Coe. Actually, what I'm calling about is business.. yours and mine..." Hmmmm

Stay tuned!!! Will The Masked Man and The Kid manage to take care of business in the catacombs, or will Garcia and his henchmen get to the African Aphrodisiac first?? Will The Masked Man and The Kid be more interested in rescuing a serial killer from the clutches of a madman or in confiscating the aphrodisiac? What about Lucy and Kevin?? Or Oz?? And, how about Lucky, Adam, and Robin?? Will they manage to come to the aid of Sonny by getting the goods on Garcia?? And, what of the storm??? With the water coming down in buckets, and the seas becoming hazardous to cross, will the WSB be able to even get to the catacombs??? And, if they do, what will they find??? Hmmmmmmmmm