"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Fifty-Five




NOTE TO READERS: As Port Charles reels from the storm that is growing, both within and without, another chatter has stepped forth to take her place. Today's guest star is Dana, from Wichita, Kansas.


Lightning is flashing, illuminating the rapidly darkening skies of Port Charles. Lucy checks her watch, a black digital, perfect for catacomb creeping, though just now, it is alerting her to the fact that she's late for an appointment.

"I can't believe that you're going to meet with anybody looking like that," Kevin says, dressed similarly in black. "I can't believe that I'm with you. Heck, I'm having trouble believing any of this. Lucy, tell me one more time that I'm doing the right thing."

"Doc, I told you that you were doing the wrong thing, but that I'd do it with you, because I love you and I know that if you don't do this, you'll never forgive yourself, and then you'll have more problems and , oh dear, I hope that Dana hasn't left yet!" With that, she opens the door to her office, and asks her secretary, "Is Dana here?" At her speechless nod, Lucy turns to a lovely teenaged girl whom we recognize from the chatline as Dana, Oz's daughter. With careful scrutiny, Lucy appraises the girl, then smiles, "Yes!!"

Dana, meanwhile, is staring at Lucy, who, dressed in black with artistically darkened face, looks like a cat burglar, then at the man standing silently next to her. "Yes?" Dana manages, trying not to appear stunned at Lucy's attire.

"Yes, of course. You'll do magnificently!! Lots of dark blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and that smile!! You'll be perfect as the teenaged model for our new product!!"

"I will?"

"And that voice!! Yes! I hate it when somebody has to do a voice over if the model can't speak well, but you have an excellent speaking voice. I knew when I saw you with Lucky Spencer the other day that you'd be right for this promotion."

Quickly turning to her secretary, Lucy instructs, "We'll need a contract prepared, and ready for signing by day after tomorrow. Contact her parents, and our attorneys." Lucy turns to Dana and says, "Then, we'll be in touch with you shortly. Now, take care of that gorgeous complexion, and you'll hear from us very soon! Ta!"

With that, she and Kevin hurry out.

"Wow," Dana says, when she regains her voice.

"You never get used to it," the secretary smiles. "But, it's never dull around here." Hmmmmmmm


Lightning flashes, and this time, the PC Hotel is thrown into relief. Inside, in the penthouse, Jax and Brenda are preparing to enjoy an evening alone. Soft music fills the air, candle light flickers, and champagne is on ice.

Suddenly, his cellular phone rings, and Jax excuses himself. "Hello?"

"Crackerjax?"

There is a wealth of information contained in that word, and Jax steels himself for the orders that he knows will follow. Marty continues with her instructions. "Several of us are going out this evening for Danish and a Nutroll. Can we count you in?"

"As always."

"Excellent! We're going down under tonight, so dress appropriately."

"Down under?"

"Not that far down under," Marty laughs. "Catacomb creeping, but things might get messy. Also, meet us at dock 6 in 15 minutes."

"I'll be there."

Jax hangs up, and turns to Brenda who has heard only one side of the conversation, but understands that her husband is leaving again. "Sorry, darling," Jax tells her. "I have to meet a business associate in a few minutes. Negotiations are shaky just now, and this takes the personal touch." He kisses her, and sees the disappointment in her eyes. Wishing he could share this with her, he promises, "I'll wrap this up as soon as possible and be back. Keep the champagne cold."

Taking a brief case from the closet, he kisses her once more, then heads out. Once outside the hotel, he opens his briefcase, and pulls out his dark windbreaker and a gun. "All systems go" he mutters, as he sprints off in the direction of the docks. Hmmmmmmm


Following a hazardous ferrying across the storm tossed river, the Spoon Island contingent has finally arrived, where Mac, Luke, and Felicia await in a dimly lit, abandoned warehouse. It is a moment tinged with happiness, excitement, and at the same time, tempered with the ever present threat of danger, as brother meets brother in a reunion that both had only dreamed of making.

"I knew you were still alive," Mac said, hugging Robert, then Anna. Shaking hands with Frisco, he says, "About time you came back."

Felicia nods. "Nice to see you again, Frisco. The girls are doing fine."

"By the way," Anna says, "We have a few more friends who should be arriving any minute."

"Who?" Luke asks. "Anybody I don't know about?"

"Actually, a few of our associates-Luke and Mac, meet Marty, aka the Boss Lady. This is SS9, dropping in from San Diego to help out."

The tall, lovely lady smiles, and Luke asks Marty, "Need any more help?"

Anna continues, "Carly is here. Now, where's Jax?" As she speaks, Jax sprints into view.

"Jax?" Mac asks, surprised. "He's WSB?"

"One of my best agents," Marty says. "Nobody ever expects him to be one of us."

"You remember Sean Donely?"

Sean steps our of the shadows, and shakes his hand. "Mac, you should have known that I wouldn't miss this one."

"I've got a couple of new recruits that will be meeting us down there," Marty injects here. "Just be sure you don't mistake The Masked Man and The Kid for the enemy."

"You're kidding," Mac says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Good grief," Frisco grumbles. "Can the guy even shoot straight?"

Marty grins. "Don't worry, Frisco. He knows his way around weapons and he's sneaky as all get out. But, that makes him perfect for us."

"Count me in," Tom Hardy announces, stepping out of the shadows.

Felicia gasps, stunned, and says, "I thought you were dead."

"Just somebody else who was borrowing my name and face. Yeah, I've got a score to settle here."

"One more thing," Marty tells them. "There's a good chance that we'll run into Lucy and Kevin down there. Plus, we don't know how many agents that Faison has."

"Then, here's the plan," Robert says, as Marty stands by, looking on with approval as outside the storm rages on. Hmmmmmmmmm


Stay tuned!!! Will Kevin and Lucy meet up with the good guys before the bad guys find them?? Will Dana find herself launched into a lucrative modeling career?? Will Brenda ever figure out why Jax keeps dashing off to parts unknown, leaving her home alone?? Will she be waiting for him again?? Is she getting tired of waiting?? Will he bring another diamond to make up for leaving her?? Will all my agents be ready for action, ready to face danger, to deal with the dastardly denizens of the darkness?? Will Danish and the Nutroll be waiting for them?? And, what of the ever growing storm?? Are the storm drains filling rapidly as the rains fall?? Where does all the water go???