"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Fifty-Seven

NOTE TO READERS: As pounding rains drench Port Charles, two more of our fearless chatters take to the catacombs one to fight crime, and one to get the story!! Today's guest stars are Kristin, from Arlington Virginia, and Stefani, from Denver, Colorado.

"Actually, this is a pretty nice set-up," Ryan comments as he accepts a snifter of brandy from his new employer, Caesar Faison. "Operating beneath the city, in relative comfort.."

"Relative?" questions Faison. "This place is equipped with the finest of everything."

"No doubt about that," Ryan tells him, "but the one thing I always longed for, back when I was locked up, was the ability to come and go as I pleased. Everything else becomes secondary when that is taken away. The finest is no more than a gilded cage."

"You have a point there," Faison agrees. "Ever since I was listed as dead, I have been imprisoned, for all practical purposes. I can't just drop into a nightclub or visit old friends."

"You have some to visit?" Ryan asks. "Lucky you! My 'old friends' helped lock me up, and cheered when I 'died.'" He shakes his head, and continues, "The closest thing I've had to a friend in years was Damian Smith, and I even tried to kill him because, I think, of that African Aphrodisiac stuff."

"Sorry," Faison says. "One must be careful about using it. At least you weren't enamored of a duck."

"You fell for a duck?" Ryan asks, incredulously.

"No, Miss Coe did."

"And people think I'm nuts," Ryan sniffs. "That crazy woman lets the duck swim in her bathtub! And my brother puts up with it! If that's what love does to you, then I think I'll just stick to my particular brand of insanity. I mean, I can always kill someone and move on."

"Good point," Faison agrees, as if a sudden light has turned on in his mind. "I've been in love with Anna Devane for years, and what has it gotten me? I lost my position as a leader of the DVX they even tried to kill me because of her! I was a best-selling author, and do you think I can write under my old pseudonym now? Or, attend autograph signing sessions? Do interviews? I've been hunted, hated, humiliated, harassed, harried, hectored, hounded, all because of my love for that woman."

"A glutton for punishment, are you?"

"No more," Faison announces, suddenly surging to his feet. "I am liberated! Set free! I've wasted years waiting for that woman to come to her senses and see that I am 'worthy' of her love. Me-Caesar Faison-'worthy' of her love? What was I thinking? No, I wasn't thinking! Ryan, you have done me a great favor. I am leaving this place immediately! No more skulking beneath cities, longing for the smile of that woman! In short, I'm OUTTA HERE!! Back to my first loves, writing and world domination!!"

Faison turns to Ryan and says, "Come with me, my friend! I can put a good word in with my agent or you can return to practicing medicine somewhere else! Or, you can just take time off! Relax in the sunshine! I have this private island down in the Caribbean!" Hmmmmmm

Meanwhile, as The Masked Man and The Kid approach one entrance to the catacombs, which is conveniently located beneath Sonny's luxury condominium, a beautiful woman, whom we recognize as Kristin from the chatline, also masked, is about to enter the aforementioned entry.

Suddenly, The Masked Man is frozen in place, his masked gaze meeting hers.

With dark hair, showing reddish highlights, and mysterious dark brown eyes, she's a fantasy come to life before him. Clad in formfitting black, she pauses, and says, "Masked Man-we meet at last."

"Who are you?" Sonny manages, while The Kid watches, trying to figure things out.

"Let's just say that I'm on your side," she purrs, "Fighting for justice, honor, and because it's how I get my kicks!"

"Wait," Sonny says, and she pauses, turning again to meet his searching stare. "How can I find you again?"

She gives a low, sultry chuckle that sends chills of anticipation up and down his spine. "Don't worry about that," she promises. "I'll find you, and maybe we can 'compare notes' on crime fighting, or you can show me your collection of etchings."

With that, she vanishes into the catacombs, leaving The Masked Man as intrigued as he'd been in years.
"Who was that Masked Babe?" Sonny wonders as the scent of her perfume wafts back to him. "She's mucha muchacha-no, mucha mujer!"

"You never showed my your etchings," Jason grumbles as the two follow the Masked Babe into the catacombs. Hmmmmm

RING!!! A red-haired woman answers the phone at her desk at the local paper, and says, "Stefani here! What? Something happening down in the catacombs tonight? Lots of people? Masked?? Black clad? Any idea what is going on?" She slams the phone down, and as she turns to face the camera, we realize that this is Stefani from the chatline!! She grabs her bag, and races to the office of her boss. "I've got a hot tip!" she exclaims, her brown eyes flashing with enthusiasm. "There is something really big going on down in the catacombs tonight."

"Most likely flooding," he says. "Stefani, it's pouring, and the weather report indicates that it's going to keep pouring. That always means that the storm drains back up and the catacombs can flood. Last time that happened, we had a mess on our hands. Electrical failures, people drowning, the sewers backing up. Are you sure that you want to cover this?"

"Absolutely that is, not that, but I just got a hot tip from one of my informants that several people, black clad types, Masked Man types and like that were seen down in the catacombs. This could be a major story!"

"Masked Man? Okay he always sells papers! Go for it, Stefani! Hey, be careful!"

With a nod, our courageous chatter gathers up her things and heads out into the storm, ready to brave the elements and whatever she finds down under the city. Hmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!! Will Faison and Ryan leave before the others arrive?? Will Ryan leave with Faison? What about Sonny's reaction to the Masked Babe? Has Brenda been erased from his mind forever?? Does Sonny even have etchings??? Will he get some, just in case?? Will Stefani meet up with the others before the storm does major damage to the underbelly of Port Charles??? Hmmmmmmmmmmm