"The African Aphrodisiac Adventure"
A GH Parody - - Spring 1996

Chapter Sixty-Two

Hurrying along the catacombs, Garcia is mentally congratulating himself. He won't have to wait till tomorrow, he thinks as he sloshes along. Glancing down, he realizes that his shoes are well on their way to ruined by the disgusting sludge down here. Grinning, he considers buying new shoes-hell, new everything!! In a few minutes, he'll have it all!! The African Aphrodisiac, Corinthos will be out of the way for good, and Garcia will have the lovely if larcenous, Lily! Then, of course, they'll get rid of Rivera, and the world will be their oyster!! With a self-satisfied smile, Garcia rounds the corner as he heads to the appointed meeting place. Standing in the middle of the opening, he sees the Masked Man, and The Kid.

"What the??" Garcia demands of his henchman who is holding a gun on the well known Port Charles hero and his sidekick. "I said Corinthos, you idiot!"

"We meet at last, Garcia," The Masked Man grins. "Welcome to the party."

"What party?"

"It's a slumber party," The Masked Man responds as suddenly the area is sprayed with a gas. He and The Kid quickly don their gas masks while mobsters start dropping off to sleep.

With a groan of anger, Garcia turns and slumps to his knees, then flat on his face in the mucky water. Minutes later, when the last thug is loaded into the transports, Marty's assault team regroups and continues their mission down under the streets of Port Charles. Hmmmm

"We need to talk, my darling," Lila tells Tracy who has been summoned back to the Q mansion.

Tracy is openly curious, and she asks, "What is it, Mother?" Her hands trembling, Lila holds out an envelope which Tracy accepts and opens, removing a picture.

"So it's Ned in a uniform- what is this? A costume-wait, that's not Ned. Mother, who is this?"

Her voice wavering, Lila responds, "It's Jonathan Tracy Smythe, Tracy. Oh, dear, I don't know how to say this..."

"Say it, Mother! Wait, J.T. Smythe? THE J. T. Smythe, the publishing mogul who made a fortune in the tabloids? Mother, what are you trying to tell me?"

"He's your natural father, my darling. Oh Tracy, please forgive me..."

Tracy is speechless, but only for a moment. Suddenly, she sits down abruptly. "You mean I'm his daughter?"

"Yes, my darling. He's followed your career, and knows all about you. He wants to meet you and Ned before he dies..."

Tracy's eyes well up with tears as she sees an enraged Edward grinding his teeth.

"You mean you didn't know about him?" Edward asks. "Where'd you get the money to buy me out if not from that---son of a butler?"

As Tracy turns to Lila, Reggie looks at Edward with contempt. "Mother, why didn't you tell me before?" Tracy asks. To Edward Tracy says, "No wonder I couldn't please you...You wouldn't let me. No matter how hard I tried, it was never good enough. Da-Edward, you are still doing it! You don't think that I could make the money or the deals on my own to pull this off!"

"You made a mistake underestimating her," comes a voice from the entry. "She's one savvy lady!"

Grinning, Jeremiah Jacks enters the room while Tracy beams and Lila smiles through her tears. "I left Dylan with the nanny, my love."

"Your love?" blusters Edward recognizing the man. "You pirate! You no account..."

"Darling," Jeremiah says, "Seems your mother gave you some good news. Did you really want to be related to this old blowhard?"

Tracy turns to him, and goes into his arms. "Jeremiah!! Mother, Edward, I'd like you to meet my husband, Jeremiah Jacks-Dillon's real father."

"He's Dylan's father? I'll rescind the trust! I'll ..."

"Shut up Edward!!" Lila orders tersely. "You'll do nothing of the kind!"

"She's just robbed me!"

"She outsmarted you," Lila says, a determined smile on her face. "Oh, Edward, I've put up with your nonsense far too long!!!"

"Give him hell, Aunt Lila," Reggie encourages, forgetting himself.......Hmmmmmmm

"Is this the door?" Kevin queries, shining his flashlight on the portal in question.

"I think so," Lucy says, carefully examining it. "It's reasonably clean, which is a point in our favor."

"So, do we knock, or just break it down armed with flashlights?" Kevin wonders. "Try to call the Masked Man again-will you? Being heroic is all well and good, but in spite of current evidence to the contrary, I'm not a complete idiot."

"Good idea," Lucy says, quickly entering the number. "Masked Man!!! Where are you??? You've been busy?? Doing what?? I see. Okay, keep the line open?? You can triangulate on this call?? We've gone high tech now!! Don't worry, we're in no hurry to accost that nasty man by ourselves. How many?? Great!! Okay, see you soon!" Lucy turns to Kevin and smiles. "I knew he wouldn't let us down. Seems he and his sidekick and a few good friends are also skulking around down here-they got sidetracked with a bunch of Garcia's mobsters-wasn't he a cop a while back?? Never mind that, anyway, we'll have an able crew to tie up loose ends shortly. Life is great!" Lucy chortles, as the water laps at her shins.

"Uh, Lucy," Kevin points out. "Tell them to hurry. The water is rapidly rising, and...."

"YIKES!" Lucy shrieks as a couple of rats swim past. "Uh Masked Man," she yells into the phone. "Get a move on!!" Hmmmmm

Stay tuned!!! As the storm dumps copious quantities of rain into the streets of Port Charles, and the water continues to rise beneath the aforementioned streets, our fearless group is closing in on the lavishly appointed, underground apartment and lab of the evil Faison and his equally corrupt new best buddy, Ryan Chamberlain. What will our team find??? And, has Edward finally gotten his comeuppance?? Did Reggie really say "Aunt Lila?" Hmmmmmmmmm