Chapter Nineteen

"Cowboy," Luke tells Lucky as the two of them sit outside on their porch, "we've got problems. Big problems."

"Dad, I know that. Mom freaked a few weeks ago back when you were in Greece with the Cassadines. I saw her. It was scary, man, but I thought it was okay when you got back home. I mean, I thought that she was just scared to death for you and when you were okay, she was okay."

"Son," Luke says, "things are starting to happen in a hurry, and there are things you don't know about yet, things I'm not ready to tell you."

Lucky regards Luke thoughtfully. "Stuff that kids don't understand?"

"Something like that. Stuff that only makes sense when you are much older and more experienced, and even then, you gotta wonder why you did it. Stuff that only makes sense when you understand the context of the situation."


"Yeah." Luke stares silently out into the night. "Cowboy, it seems that your mother's involvement with the Cassadines may have affected her even deeper than we knew, and that it may be partially my fault."

Lucky looks up at his father, questions in his eyes. "How's that? I mean, you love Mom. You'd do anything for her. Right? Like, even take a bullet."

"Yes, son, even that, but there are things about me, about your mother, that, oh, god, Lucky, things about me that make me so ashamed of myself. Things that hurt your mother terribly, deeply, and that I bitterly regret."

Luke's eyes are bleak, filled with pain, but he knows that he has to talk to his son, man to man.

"You want to tell me about it, Dad?"

"Want to? Hell no, I don't want to, but you are going to have to know about this before somebody uses it against us again."

"What is it?"

"Lucky, there is no clean way to put this, no easy way to tell you this, son, but there was a time when I was in serious trouble, and thought I was going to die. To be killed. I had nothing to live for, nobody to turn to. I was crazy in love with your mother, but she was married to Scott Baldwin."

"I know that Mom was married before you, Dad."

"She was attracted to me, even then. I could tell, but that was no excuse for what I did."

Lucky is concerned. Never had he heard this tone from his father, never heard this fear in his voice except for the time when they had almost lost Laura back when Lesley Lu was born. "What did you do, Dad?"

Luke looks away from Lucky, then up at the stars where he offers up a silent prayer for guidance. "Lucky, I forced your mother."


"I raped your mother, Lucky."

Luke's tone is horrified, anguished, and there are tears in his eyes, running down his cheeks. "I was every kind of a bastard, Lucky, but she saw fit to forgive me, and I've been grateful every day of my miserable life. I love your mother, Lucky, with everything I've got, with every breath I take."

"You forced Mom?"

"That's what I said. God, I never wanted to have to tell you this. Your mother forgave me, Lucky. At least I thought she had, but something happened today that makes me think that she only thought she had, that there is a part of her that never forgave me, and that part is the part the Cassadines are using against us."

"You raped my mother," Lucky says, a chill in his voice. "And you think that you can just drop that on me, shed a few tears and I'll say, it's okay Dad?" Lucky is incensed. "Confession may be good for the soul, but it's hell on your kids."

Luke hears the anger in his son's voice, and says, "Lucky, tonight I heard that Lulu is Stefan's daughter." Luke looks down, his world crumbling beneath him. "Son, I wouldn't have told you this, but you are going to have to deal with it. I won't make excuses for myself, for my past. I did what I did, and I'm having to live with my regrets. I just wanted you to know, to be ready to face what lies ahead."

"Don't you mean what lies are ahead? Our whole life has been a lie," Lucky cries. "A happy family? We can face anything? We've always got a plan?? What's the plan here, Dad?? Mom's in the shrink ward, Lulu's somebody else's kid, and you're a rapist? What's the plan for this one? How do I deal with this?"

With a cry of anguish, Lucky turns and heads into the house, leaving Luke sitting silently staring at the stars. Hmmmmmm

Bobbie and Tony are sitting in the living-room of the brownstone, having come home from the hospital after talking with Mac. Tears are running down Tony's face, as he stares at the ceiling. "This can't be happening," he says, finally. "This can't be happening."

Bobbie, hearing his voice, turns to him. "It happened, Tony. I'm sorry, so sorry for what I said earlier. You'll never know how sorry I am."

"She was so young, so alive."

"If only I hadn't gotten so angry, lost my temper."

"She loved me, you know. Old dull Tony Jones, but she loved me."

"I wish I could take it all back."

"And I loved her. God, I loved her."

"She told me that she loved you forever."

"And I loved her forever. I even had it engraved on the locket I gave her. We were going to get married."

Bobbie longs to say that Carly was her daughter, to tell Tony, but something keeps her from confessing the truth, some need to protect Tony from any more pain.

Tearfully, Bobbie turns to Tony and says, "Tony, I'm so sorry. If I'd only realized, if I'd only known-but it's too late now, and it's all my fault."

"No, it's my fault," Tony counters, his tone wooden. "I was old enough to know better, but I wanted her, and took what I wanted. I knew it was wrong, and now, she's dead. It's my fault, Bobbie. If I hadn't done what I did, you wouldn't have caught us, and Carly wouldn't have run into the park tonight." He shakes his head wearily, and says, "I don't know if I can deal with this, Bobbie. It's too much. A man can only take so much, and I think I've reached my limit." Hmmmmmmm

Stay tuned!! Will Lucky still be home when the sun comes up?? Has his image of his dad forever changed?? Will Luke ever be able to look Lucky in the eye again?? How will Lucky feel towards Lesley Lu now?? Will Bobbie and Tony comfort each other, or is this the end?? Hmmmmmmm